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Hi all, I just heard that a friend has just been told that the beast has returned after 5 years of being a survivor. I have had other friends have the same thing happen to them. Some have survived , some haven't . It just seems to be getting so much harder this time around. I am curious if anyone has any ideas on how to cope with this. You don't have to be a long term survivor to answer this. I think it could be a newer survivor who has a friend who has a recurrence. I guess it just seems to be effecting me more this time than before. Maybe I just needed to vent. In which case thanks for listening.
God bless,
John

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John,

Just wanted to say Hello! I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Unfortunately I don't have any answers or suggestions for you. I was hoping by now that the "elephant" would have left our house. It hasn't though. Even after 2  1/2 years.. Don't get me wrong we are very grateful Mark is doing so well. I think, I know, I would be absolutely devastated if Mark were to have a recurrence. I think it would almost be harder than the first time. 

Hugs~

So...my mom had cancer 5 times. 2 of those times it was lung cancer. There was the first time and then there was the recurrence. I can't speak for her, but for me it was even harder the second time cancer happened in general because after the first time we thought "oh good - it's gone. Let's move on." The second time we thought "oh shoot - it's back. Guess we can never move on." 

I think that a second cancer or a recurrence of the first cancer makes us feel even more uncertain and vulnerable. It makes us realize that we can't just "move on" when that's what we so very desperately want to do. 

I got a little better at realizing that nothing in life is certain, which is hard for me because I'm kind of a control freak. I am the person who thinks that I can plan everything out so perfectly that everything will happen exactly the way I want it to. But then you realize, stuff (sometimes good, sometimes bad) will happen and you have no control over it and you will constantly have to change your plan, and that's life. 

I also got a tattoo. :-) It's a symbol that means "resilience and adaptability." It's in a place where only I can see it and it reminds me that even when bad things happen, I am strong and I will find a way through it. 

My mom was a good role model for this. Despite 5 bouts of cancer (4 different types), she kept working, she kept traveling, she kept going to her dinner club, she kept going to water aerobics class at the pool in the summer time. She sometimes had to scale back a bit temporarily, but I think she didn't give herself the option to do otherwise. That was how she coped with recurrences. 

Good luck to your friend. 

Amy

Umm...What Amy said! :)  Truly, I couldn't have said it better! Especially since I too am a planner and control freak. And there is actually little to zero control here. We can try to make wise choices, do our homework, graze on wheatgrass, etc. 

 At the end of the day, God is in control-(for us).  What I mean is, we can copy everything a long term survivor does, and have the exact same diagnosis and type of cancer, but our outcomes can be totally different. 

 By the way, we are actually stepping up our diet change, but we feel it's for our total health. Again, a personal decision, and my teeny tiny bit of control, or so I feel.

 Holly

I hate that feeling of not knowing where things are going. Is it to much to ask for life to just leave me alone for awhile? I have a feeling I'm not going to get my wish but it is a nice fantasy.
John,
You have been one of thee most important people on my journey...You gave me hope. That simple. You calmed my fears. Told me to breathe. And then you told me Mark could beat this beast, and you know what..he is doing very well. Inalways have you in the back of my mind when the thought of a recurrence enters my mind. You still calm my fears over 2 1/2 years later!
Thank you for that. God had plans for you...and still does.

Amy has been the voice of reason. Thank you for that, Amy.

God Bless!
Hi everyone, just wanted to stop and say I'm back and in control again. Now let's get back to kicking cancers ass once again. For all you newbies out there , there is hope to be had ! Believe that the fight can be won. Even if you dont we here will not desert you in your time of need.
God bless,
John

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