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Limitations and how to deal with them

Hi all, I'm wondering if anyone has found it difficult to admit to needing assistance in doing everyday things?
I have always been very active physically and I look like I am physically fit. Well at least as a normal 50 something looks. But since treatment and surgery my lungs limit me a lot in certain activities. I know this is probably more of a guy thing but I'm sure the ladies out there have the same issues.
You know like your in a store to buy something and it is kind of heavy but not bad. Yet to carry it to the register or even put it in the cart can make you out of breath. Or the kid working in the store wants to help direct you personally to an area in the store where an item is located. He's off to the races and by the time you keep up with him you are out of breath. I just can't admit to them I need them to slow down because I don't really want to explain why I can't. Does this make sense to anyone or am I in need of a therapy cession.
It still even after 12 yrs dealing with this I can't get my mind around that I'm not what I was. Maybe it's more of a mid life crisis , I don't know. I hope someone here has a tip or two or at least a little reassurance that it is normal to feel this way. I would never admit this to anyone who isn't dealing with these limitations because we all know people will just try to placate you and say something well meaning but not really helpful.
Just wondering.
God bless,
John

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kathy on October 31, 2011 at 4:31pm

John,

I read your post and saw myself! I had a lobectomy and found myself in the grocery store pretending I was actually interested in every item just so no one would look at me funny walking so slow. The things our pride does to us! After reading yours and marilyns post, I now have a different take on life

Thank you

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Permalink Reply by Carolyn on October 31, 2011 at 5:02pm

Hi John,

Yes I am dealing with this also. I have always been pretty independent and I really do not like asking for help. But then if you think about it this way (which might work) everything in the stores are rising in price, so they should help us weather we need it or not. Sometimes that is the game I play with myself. I used to clean house every weekend from top to bottom-now I hire someone to do it for me. I am blessed to have grand children near by and that helps me alot with the depression. I do hope this has helped you in some way. I do think we are pretty much in the same boat and we can discuss it with people that really do understand.

God Bless,

Carolyn

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Permalink Reply by ElaineK on November 20, 2011 at 9:24pm

Hi John- I feel the same way. I had surgery 5 months ago but am still having trouble with stamina and breathing. I also have emphysema, so I know this impacts my breathing, but it's so aggravating to be huffing and puffing just going to the store! I too used to walk at least 2 miles a day and swim and play tennis regularly. I hope I can try swimming when I totally healed, but it seems impossible given my current condition. I also have a problem with work- I had a career in HR which had me running around all day- it was in no way a desk job. Now I can't imagine doing that kind of work anymore. I have to figure out what I can do work-wise.

I think the main thing at least for me is to accept limitations and figure out ways to be as "normal" as possible. I HAVE to use a cart at the grocery even if I only have a few items. It helps to lean on the cart and slows you down so you don't overdo it. I still load my own groceries to the car (I can lift small bags). I know it's hard to admit you can't do something- especially if you're a guy LOL but people are very understanding if you tell them you need help. I just say I just had surgery and don't offer more details. That seems to convey to them that you're slower than usual.

I'm hoping my breathing will get better but I've already prepared myself if this is it. I am just grateful I am clear and will stay that way. Good luck and hope things get better!

Elaine

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Permalink Reply by Carolyn on November 20, 2011 at 10:47pm

I just read your letter to John. I think you are very right about limitations. I had lung surgery right lobe removed last Dec. 9. I also have copd. This breathing does kind of stress me out. The dr. is sending me to rehab. I hope this helps. Do you do any inhalers? He has me on advair and combivent. Sometimes I forget to take them though.

I do hope you will be able to swim when you heal. I have decided in Jan. or Feb. I will go snorkeling. I can not swim but I love to snorkel and see the different fish and corral.

I did quit work about 4 yrs. ago with the copd. I was on the phone all day and it took to much air.

I do wish you luck Elaine in your breathing, job, and swimming. Happy Thanksgiving.

God bless,

Carolyn

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Permalink Reply by ElaineK on December 5, 2011 at 3:45pm

Hi Carolyn- Thanks for your post! It's good to hear from someone who gets what is going on. My family keeps telling me that I just need to excersize more and I will be able to breathe better. They don't understand that I can't BREATHE after just walking! My doctor has me on Symbicort daily (morning and night) and it really helps. I aslo have abuteral if I have an emergency. It's hard to describe the problem- I can go along OK and then all of a sudden I have to stop and I can't catch my breath. I've learned to go slow. It's great that you can swim- I love swimming and hope I can continue when I finally get fully healed.

Take care- Elaine

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Permalink Reply by Carolyn on December 5, 2011 at 4:47pm

Hi Elaine,

I did not mean to mislead you but I can't swim. Never really learned how. lol.. But I can kick my feet with the flippers on and move out pretty good. One time I was snorkeling and the ashma thing started wheezing, so I did slow down. I had too. At that time I did not have the advair or combivent. My dr. told me after to always have it with me. This was before the lung cancer surgery last Dec. BUT I am still going to snorkel.

I am pretty upset with myself right now. I just went shopping a little bit, and got exhausted...... So I came home. I have not done any inhalers today though, trying not to, because they are so expensive, not sure if that would make a big difference with getting tired or not.

I cough up blood quite often. It is kind of pink and mostly in the mornings. However the last week I have coughed up bright red blood two times so I have put in a call to lung dr. Dont know weather to call the oncologist as well... Maybe I would not be as tired if I did do the inhailers. I guess I should break down and try them. Probably pretty stupid not to.

They make me shake quite a bit, but that is ok. I took advair one evening and could not go to sleep so I will just have to take it earlier. I have a hard time turning off my head at night.

I go to lung rehab tomorrow so I am sure I will learn alot. It last 3 months 3 times a week. I will also try to keep up my regular exercise. I need to learn how to breath correctly when I exercise. Sometimes I think I hold my breath. (not good)

Take care of you my dear and I do think we need to exercise to try to keep what we have. I don't like it much but I think that is how it is. It will be so neat when you can swim again. Just take it slow and back float (I can do that) lol.. for awhile.

God bless

Carolyn

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Permalink Reply by eric byrne on December 21, 2011 at 1:47pm

Hi John,

I do have some issues with breathlessness since my upper right lobectomy 3 years ago,however,not one to accept this situation lying down,as if the situation is cast in stone for me,I decided to work on the problem to see if I could make some improvements.I dont know if you know Bud Baker of Crowley Texas,well he is an inspiration to me,he rides a recumbant bike,then some,with almost the same type and treatments of lung cancer as myself he can ride this bike in over 100 degree temps for distances in one go up to 200 kms, my thoughts are,well if Bud can do this after a lobectomy maybe I could do something to improve my fitness.I have recently retired from my teaching job after almost 40 years,and have taken up a gym membership,each morning from 9.30am until 1.00pm I gym,swim Mon,Wed and Thurs,Tues and Fri I yoga and swim.I know in the last three months of doing this I have made improvements to my breathing and fitness levels,who knows? given sometime I could even challenge Bud?.I know you may not have the time I have on your hands to spend this ammount of time in the gym,due to you still being in employment,but I can recommend two or three times a week for even only 30mins doing exercises that can elevate your heartbeat will pay you dividends.Best Wishes Eric.