Linking you to resources and support in the lung cancer community!
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Permalink Reply by John H MOD on -
Hi and welcome, I would just want you to know you guys are in my prayers. I am an eleven yr survivor of 3A Nsclc. I can only say that there are options your husband has. One big one is clinical trials. There are alot of them that might at the least extend his life. It could also help somre one down the road with sclc. I don't know if you have gone and asked for a second opinion. I know that we are all human and do make mistakes . I wish I had more encouragement but it has to be hard. I do know as a husband who put my wife through hell with this disease my own personal feelings was to protect her and the children the best I could. I'm sure your husband is no different . You need to protect your health both mentally and physically . I'm sure you've heard that already but it's true . The only wy to help your husband is to be as strong as you can be. I'm glad you stopped here and I know others who have more experience with sclc will certainly be more helpful but if you need to chat or vent come back and I can listen. My best and like I said before you are in my prayers, john
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Permalink Reply by AmyLCA on -
Hi hiswife,
I'm sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. It's hard to hear that someone is sick when they seem to be doing so well on the surface. It's also hard to know what to expect since, as you said, everyone is different. If he has small cell lung cancer, on average, it tends to be more aggressive than non-small cell lung cancer. Without treatment, it will progress and spread to other parts of his body. As far as "when," it's also hard to know. The timeframe the doctors already gave him are averages, but he could fall on either side of that average.
"What to expect" will depend very much on where it spreads. For example, it is common for lung cancer to spread to the brain. If it does, he might have symptoms like loss of balance, blurry visions, slurred speech - that sort of thing. If it spreads to the bones, he may have pain where the tumors are. If it spreads to his liver, his skin may appear more yellow than normal, among other signs.
You mentioned that he has cancer in his lymph nodes. Is it anywhere else in his body at this point?
Amy
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Permalink Reply by hiswife on -
The doctor said when we looked at the PET, right lung had so much it was to much to measure (?) some in left lung, in fluid around both lungs, lymph, kidneys, rectum. that sounded like a lot to me. They did MRI of the brain before PET and said that there was none there that any changes were just normal due to his age. 71. It is just so frustrating, I don't want to hope and I don't want to feel defeated for him. He is just feeling pretty good and eating fairly well.
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Permalink Reply by Niti/MOD on -
My husband survived 5 years after his diagnosis. As I look back on those years my biggest regret is the pressure I put on us to make memories and make every holiday, anniversary, birthday a story-book experience. When I lightened up, we enjoyed ourselves much more. Now I am able to look back on those lightened up times as some of our best.
If there is one suggestion I might make it is to make a final plans as soon as possible and then try to forget about that. When the times comes, you may welcome having all decisions made so you can be present in the moment and not have to deal with the administration of things. I appreciated being able to give a folder to my sisters, to not have to make decisions and to just let them do the things we had decided upon. It was tough to make those plans because it felt vaguely treasonous to make plans for someone I was fighting so to keep alive but I am glad we did it that way.
If you want to know what to expect, you should ask your oncologist or his nurse practitioner, if he has one. You may be the type who is more comfortable knowing what to expect and they can explain things to you. The last you thing you want is for you to be a nervous wreck wondering if every hiccup is something way more serious.
We are here to help. Best,
Niti
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Permalink Reply by hiswife on
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Niti, thank you for your reply. We have done everything to get ready for the end. You are right it was almost like we were willing him to die but we both know that this is the time to get the legal things done while we both can make rational decisions. He has been turned over to hospice but I did speak with his oncologist today. I asked him if they were sure of the diagnosis since he seems so well. The doctor said yes but if he continued to do well bring him back in in a couple of months and they would do more testing that miracles do happen. My emotions are so mixed up right now. The sad thing is that he does not want to go do anything, except ride his motorcycle and he is just not strong enough yet to do that plus the heat is terrible here.
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Permalink Reply by Janice (Jan) Cutler on -
I am a lc survivor of 14 years. Diagnosed early enough to have surgery. Lobectomy of upper left lobe and then wedge resection on upper right lobe 3 years ago. Both cancers were found in CT Scan. I have lost 2 dear friends to lung cancer and was with them to the end. I am now helping my best friend who was diagnosed last 'December w/lymph node and brain cancer. He was given 6-8 months, had one chemo and radiation treatment, which made him so sick he didn't want another.
He has lost all his hair, but still doing well. We go out to lunch and dinner and he likes to go to shopping center with me.
When he was unable to drive, vision problems... He moved to an assisted living place. He lived alone and meds were the biggest problem, so now he doesn't have to worry about cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping. He looks good. Doesn't have pain either. When he asked about the end, he was told he may just awaken one morning feeling really tired and not want to get out of bed.. It's hard knowing you are dying, but I just tell him we are all dying..we just don't know when.
So far, after 8 months, his vision is his biggest problem, but he had that before being dx'd. Enjoy each day you have, take one day at a time. I will keep you in my prayers. Jan
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Permalink Reply by hiswife on
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Jan,
My prayers go out to your friend and I am so glad for your recovery. I have a hard time with doing just one day at a time, I am such a control person. I am trying to work on that for myself and my husband.
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Permalink Reply by GADawg/MOD on -
Hi there,
I'm sorry to hear about your husband. My mom has stage IV NSCLC. I, too, am a huge control freak. It's been so hard to not know what's going to happen with my mom, so I can sympathize with you. I know you said you have a hard time taking things one day at a time. I do, too. But, after going through this for 5 years with my mom, I can tell you from experience that that's the best way to do it. You said you've taken care of final arrangements, and as long as you're doing everything you can do (that's reasonable) treatment-wise, and doing what the docs tell you, then you can rest assured knowing you've done all YOU can do, and the rest is literally out of your hands. I used to worry myself sick about my mom, what was going to happen, etc. Over time I've realized that as long as we're keeping up with her scans, getting her treatment, etc. then I've done all I can do and worrying about the rest is futile. I should just enjoy her now, while I can, day by day. I don't want to look back one day and regret that the time I did have with her my head was somewhere else, worrying, and not really enjoying her. Now when I spend time with her, I'm fully present and just soaking her in and enjoying our time together. Of course her cancer is always on my mind, but I'm able to put it in the back of my mind and enjoy her more than I worry. I hope this has helped you-
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