Our Shine the Light Vigil-A Message to My Patients

It was totally my honor to have been asked by our local lung cancer awareness group to speak at the Shine the Light Vigil held in Casselberry, Florida this year.  In preparing for my talk I changed my topic a billion times (okay...maybe 5, but I did keep changing it) because I just couldn't figure out exactly what I wanted to say. Then it suddenly dawned on my one day, "why not just talk about how I feel about the patients I take care of every day".

I have been a nurse for 31 years (having started at the age of 9) :o) and most of that time has been in oncology.  Right now I work as a nurse for the oncologist in our group that specializes in lung cancer.  My soul responsibility is to take care of his patients and any needs they have along their journey whether it's chemotherapy, radiation, medications, emotional support, etc. I get to do it all, and I say "I get to" because I love doing what I do.

I learn something from these amazing people every day.  They have touched my life and my heart in so many countless ways that's it's hard to put into words, but for this night, at this vigil I tried to do just that, and put how I felt about them into words.  Since most of you on this site are on this same journey, I wanted to share some of what I said with you. I hope it will encourage you and help you know that you aren't in this battle alone. And I hope it gives you a glimpse of how much you inspire those of us that have the privilege of caring for you along the way.

Here is some of what I shared that night:

Because I am so closely involved with each patient from their first visit to our office through their treatment and follow-up care, as you can imagine, I form a very close bond with most of the people that place their care in our hands.  I cannot even put into words the impact these patients have made in my life.  When faced with what is probably THE most challenging time in their lives, these people have become more than just the patients I care for, they are the people I most admire and respect. I meet them at a time that could easily bring out the worst, but they show nothing but the best.  They have so many amazing qualities and tonight I want to share just a few of those qualities with you.  I want you to see the type of people I have the privilege to know and care for each day.  Here is what I see in them:

1)      They “take the bull by the HORNS” and never let go.  By this I mean that after the initial shock of their diagnosis, I see these people transform over the following days and weeks into strong warriors.  They get involved in their care, in their treatment and they become fighters!  They take what life has thrown them and become motivated to take this cancer head on.  They do everything in their ability to follow their treatment plans and become soldiers in an army they never willingly signed up for.  They prepare for the fight of their lives and they are determined to come out a winner.  And why not, as I always tell them, “Someone has to be in the survivor statistics, why not you?!”

2)       At a time when they could have every right to be totally self-focused these warriors find the strength and compassion to look beyond themselves and ENCOURAGE those around them.  I see and hear them back in the chemo suite talking to each other and spurring one another on in the battle for a cure.  I hear them talking to the person who is there for their first treatment.  The seasoned veteran knows the fear in the new rookies eyes and they take the time to show compassion, answer questions, and aleve the unknown.  It’s so much better for new patients to have this coming from them rather than from me.  They have been through the trenches and are coming out on the other side.  They know best what to say and they say it.  They are amazing, and their encouraging words get passed on to the next newly diagnosed person that arrives for their first treatment.

3)      RESILIENCE is another characteristic of the people I’ve come to know who are battling lung cancer.  They are just starting to feel good again and we hit them with another cycle of chemotherapy.  They get poked and prodded, submit to test after test, scan after scan, yet they always come out on top.  When most would give up, give in, or throw their hands up in despair, these incredible people stick to it, endure whatever comes their way, and push through the times when they can hardly put one foot in front of the other.  They are more determined than ever and they fight with a strength that seems almost superhuman at times. They are resilient!

4)      Last but not least they are OPEN.  They share their thoughts, their fears, their questions, and their tears.  They talk about their families, their work, their failures, their dreams.  In the 2+ decades I have had the privilege of working with oncology patients; my life has been abundantly blessed by their openness.  I have learned so much from them because they have been so willing to share their hearts with me.  Every day I learn something from one of the patients I interact with that day.  They inspire me to appreciate life more, to not take things or people for granted, and to never give up hope.  I am a better person because of who they are and the influence they have had on my life.  There are days I can’t believe I get paid for doing something that I love so much and that I personally reap so many rewards from.  They give me so much more than I could ever give to them and I am forever in their debt.

So there you have it.  Now you know what I know about those facing lung cancer.  They are an amazing group of people who show so many admirable qualities while facing this disease, four of which I have shared with you tonight.  They are the kind of people that (1) Grab the bull by the HORNS-“H”   (2) Give ENCOURAGEMENT to those around them -“E”  (3)  Are RESILIENT in their battle against this threatening disease- “R” and (4) And are OPEN with their lives – “O.

H-E-R-AND –O, put them together and you have HERO.  That’s what they are to me, their families, their caregivers and all who know them.  They make a difference in the lives of everyone who has the privilege of knowing them. If you have fought the fight against lung cancer, or if you are currently in the battle, you are a HERO.  And it is because of the HEROs that are here with us today, as well as the HEROs who have left us far too soon that we have come here together on this night, in this place, and at this time.  We honor you that are here, we remember those who are not, and we are here to raise the awareness so that every person in future that is diagnosed with lung cancer will be not only a hero, but a survivor.  We are here because we want to make a difference.  We are here because we want to save lives.  We are here to see to it that in our lifetime lung cancer has a cure. 

That was the main part of what I talked about that night. I talked about people like all of you...HEROS!!! And I hope everyone of you realize that a hero is what you are. You amaze me! You inspire me!! Lung cancer is a tough battle and you all are either in it or have been in it and I admire you greatly. Please know that nurses like me who are involved in your care really are blessed to be able to stand beside you and help you through this time in your life. Thank you for that honor. I am so grateful to be an oncology nurse and I can only hope I give as much back to my patients as they have given to me, and I am sure that all the nurses out there that are involved in your care feel the same way about you.

Sincerely from my heart,

Tammy