Wanda's Family fought...She fought harder

It has been a little over three months since my mom lost her battle with Non Small Cell Adenocarsinoma.  

On April 19th my mom who was 63 was going to get a hip replacement.  Sunday the 17th she came up stairs and said is there something on my neck?  I said yes. Knowing that they wouldn't do a hip replacement with a hang nail we knew we had to go to the Dr.  First thing Monday morning we headed to her Dr's office.  We had an appointment at 930am and by 330 and many test and Dr's visits we were told she had Cancer.  They didn't know what kind, but since she had been a smoker for 47 years and just quit in Oct. to get her hip replaced they assumed Lung.  

Well it takes so long to get test done, and results back we felt like we were going to jump out of our skin.  They did cancel the hip, she said she knew in her heart she would never get that fixed, she just never dreamed that it would be due to Cancer.

The following Thursday well almost two weeks later, PET Scan and many others we had an appointment with the Lung Dr.  He said that it was Stage 4 lung cancer and that is she did treatment she would have 6-12months.  She asked is there anything you can do for me and he said NO.  She didn't want to hear that, and we were sent to the Oncologist.  He said that some of his patients go on and live 10 years.  Well at that time we didn't know what kind of Cancer and that is what she held onto.  

It was such a huge surprise as she didn't have any symptoms except the lump on her neck.  She never had a cough, trouble breathing or anything. That still has made this whole thing hard to understand.  God is in control and this was the best way for anyone to struggle with CANCER that is for sure.

Well May 17th she had her first Chemo.  The whole family asked her not to, but she wasn't ready to die and she said she did it for her grandchildren.  They had tried to tell her to enjoy life and don't go through this whole yucky thing.  Well needless to say That Tuesday we were all tired, Wed on a steroid, she felt amazing we ran around doing things we hadn't in a year or more.  Well by the next day she felt like she had been hit with a MAC truck.  She knew that was how she would feel so all was to be expected, then she started getting sick to her stomach and stopped eating.  By Sun. am I took her to the ER. She went into the hospital for fluids and nutrition.  By Tuesday she had emergency bowel surgery. She got twisted bowel.  They don't think it was related but they found tumors on her intestine, took them off and biopsied.  It was cancer as well.  She was a heavy drinker and struggled through detox while in the hospital.  Please if you have a family member who drinks, ween them as it is a horrible way to die.  

She was in the hospital for 10 days, healed amazing from the surgery, came home and we decided to start Hospice.  She needed equipment and they kept her on Oxygen, she could not afford and I needed the 24 hour availability of a nurse.  Well by the next Tuesday she was back in the hospital Emergency surgery again.  This time bowel obstruction and they gave her an ostomy.  We did great with that.  Again healed amazing and she was home again.  This time only one day upstairs and Hospice brought a bed for the living room.  She wasn't too happy, but we couldn't stand the thought of her struggling to do the stairs and she was so Independent.  

My mom fought so hard.  She said she knew she was going to go to Heaven and wanted to be with Jesus, she just wasn't ready yet.  She loved the Ram's, Lakers and USC or her Angels too.  Mostly she loved her family.  Grandchildren were the joy of her life and the great grandchildren well icing on the cake.  

She lived in Colorado with us for 5.5 well, almost 6 years.  Oct 1st would have been 6 years.  She was able to attend her grandchildren's weddings and be at the birth of all but two of her great grandchildren.  One in AZ and one born just a few weeks ago.  Her legacy is her Grandchildren, they were her light.  She never forgot a birthday...Always the first call everyone got on our special day.  She remembered everything and couldn't wait to share what they had done together.

Her heart was full when we were all together, getting along and making memories.  Vegas, Blackhawk, Super Bowls, World Series, are some of her favorite things.  She loved to be needed and to do laundry.  We all knew she would be happy to do our laundry.

I am missing her, not sure if you can tell.

Time goes fast.  In the middle of it, I never left her.  I did go home from the hospital after the detox started as it was too hard.  So I went everyday, just didn't spend the night. 

Once home I just wanted to be with her, we had a harp player come, our pastor from our church, friends and family surrounded her.  Everyone go to be with her.  

From April 18- July 5 we loved on her and tried to make her happy.  We only had 79 days and they were emotional, hard and not long enough...

If I can suggest anything to anyone.  Hold tight to your time, don't regret, but also don't have unrealistic expectations of either the person dying or those around you.  People will fail you every time.  Lean on the Lord and He will give you everything you need.

If you have a drinker, be upfront with all the Hospital Staff and everyone involved in care giving.  

I miss my mom, and when I searched for information about Adenocarsinoma I didn't feel like I got the answers that I needed.  It is a Cancer that non smokers get, but smokers can as well.  If it is hereditary a female non smoker has a greater chance of getting it than a smoker.  Why I have no idea.  So that means I have a higher chance than my sister... We didn't get the test done.  I feel like if we all live long enough we will all die of some sort of cancer.  I hate it...I hate it....I hate it....

But only 79 days total.  My grandmother died of Breast Cancer at 64 but had her first bought when she was 49 then clear for 9 years then battled until she died, with a 24 hour fanny pack of Chemo for years.  Not fun at all.  I would take the 79 days total.  But the Lord decides the number of our days and He knows what is best for us.  I am trusting you Lord, protect us all from this horrible disease and let people know we all need each other.