Linking you to resources and support in the lung cancer community!
What would you like to be doing in five years?
As with my cancer journey I have learned to take everything with a future some what suspect. Your life can change in a heartbeat but I have to look ahead or I get mired down in the day to day stuff. I feel that to look into the future and picture myself there I can see and feel hope. We all need hope to carry us through trying times. It just got me so down during the course of treatments and the after math of it . I learned to escape from that by seeing myself relaxing on a summer day on a warm beach. It helped and still does today.
Anyone else doing any long term planning? Or wishing?
God bless, John
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Cheryl C on -
Hi John,
I do tend to think ahead also, keeps my spirits up! On my lc journey, being dx in April of this year, the 5 years of NED seems to be a goal that I hope to achieve. God willing. I am also looking forward to early retirement, as I will be 59 1/2 in 5 years. I would like to be able to spend more time with my grandchildren. Most of my grown children live out of state due to employment opportunities elsewhere. Grandparents are very important to children and I would like to be able to be a full time grandmother. I believe that can make a difference in their lives. I have also been approached about being a partner in a small organic vegetable mart. ( Still thinking on that one.) That's my plans as of today, but like you said, ask me tomorrow and I will have different plans! LOL The world is our oyster! Thanks for the question John. Hugs Cheryl
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Permalink Reply by Lobsterman-Dave on -
You gave me a lot to think about John. My wife keeps talking about future plans (I will be 55 on the 16th) and in some cases it bothers me a lot. You see, I am or was a corporate controller on disability not only from the cancer but from a major shoulder injury that left me with severe damage in my arm and hand. I am currently going through my second round of chemo(new nodules discovered in both lungs this time, but no spread elsewhere) as you may or may not remember I was diagnosed last year with nsclc and went through chemo (cysplatin cocktail) and raditiation. That was after going through three bouts of pneumonia the last bout almost killing me when they found a 9.6cm tumor. I have had two more bouts of pneumonia this year, the second one has forced me onto oxygen. I am now on Taxol awaiting my final two treatments and have ct and pet scans this Friday. Although I am a very positive thinking person, it is very hard for me to think about plans for five years from now, although I understand your thinking. Perhaps once I am done with treatment and hopefully get rid of the oxygen, I too will start thinking long term. But although I feel so tied down as the weather is very warm in NY, I have managed to keep myself busy becoming the Treasurer of social club that is involved in charitable works and I do administrative volunteer work for another organization. So to you and others, make those plans, and perhaps soon I will be able to as well! G-d Bless to All! Dave
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Permalink Reply by John H MOD on -
Hi Cheryl and Dave, first Cheryl I think those are some lucky grandchildren you have! I'm not sure who's more blessed you for having them or them for having you. Enjoy every minute they grow to fast for sure.
Dave you are in up to your eyeballs aren't you. Well I remember how everyday just opening my eyes I felt blessed, still do actually. I think the whole cancer experience changes all of you and not just the physical things. Mental , spiritual, social it all gets shifted to a new reality. We have to change, adapt, circumvent however you need to say it. You change! Like it or not, we do. I found it was either accept my new reality or be consumed by my denials. I did not want to know how I had to be a new me, heck I liked the old me! After a long battle of wills I chose to change and since then I've had a much better time looking forward and not back to what I had and now see what I can have.
I know Dave right now make it through today and tomorrow will come. I see you are still using those skills you had before helping these non profits. Who knows maybe a new direction for the Lobsterman to take. How's that go "the road less travelled". I have a feeling these places are very very thankful you found them. So Dave it has to get better I pray you've rounded the corner and are on the start of the rise of the roller coaster that you are on.
Prayers buddy to you and to Cheryl and of course the families that care for you.
God bless, John
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Permalink Reply by Lobsterman-Dave on
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John, as I told Merry, I think once treatment ends I will get that wanting and thinking of a long term future. And you may be right, I may have found a new road. The way the business world is, I can still use my financial skills and help smaller organizations. Hopefully I will have rounded the corner soon! Thanks for the prayers! Dave
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Permalink Reply by Merry on
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Hi Dave- I think that what your wife is doing is trying to give you hope that there will be a future. She is also afraid, you aren't alone in this. You probably need to sit her down and tell her how much this bothers you and why. Then the two of you can make short term plans instead. It is entirely natural to want make plans ahead, just help her to shorten the amount of time. I'm sure that she means well but just doesn't understand how you feel.
My best to you,
Merry
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Permalink Reply by Lobsterman-Dave on
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I know she means well Merry. As I said, I have been a very positive person, even going through this dreaded disease, especially the first time around. But as I go through this second time in a year with chemo again, I am just concentrating on the short term until I finish the treatments and see where the road takes me. For my wife, thinking about the future and possible future events is her way to cope with my disease. So in once sense, although thinking long term bothers me right now, I try not to say negatives when she talks about plans as I know that is her hope. I will make comments about plans from time to time but nothing too negative as I said, I don't want her to get too down about me. After 25 years of marriage, you have your ups and downs. We have had ours and this is a major down! But my wife is a successful businesswoman and still takes care of an 11 yr old and a 17 yr old and me as well. Plus she commutes from Long Island to Manhattan four days a week. So she is incredibly busy and rarely has time for herself. So that is why I try not to say too much when she talks about future events.
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Permalink Reply by Merry on
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Oh you are a sweetie to be thinking of her at this time for sure!!! Instead of thinking that it would be a negative comment, talking about a short time in the future, rather than long term, she might not interpret it as negative.
This August 29th it will be 30 years of marriage for my husband Dave and I. We ran a sport fishing business for over 25 years and now he's in fisheries management. We travel to Europe and all over NE with his 3 positions. I don't do bucket lists either. They represent a depressing idea, like getting ready to die. I've had lung cancer 2 times, 10 years apart. We have plans for after Dave retires from his position. I want to live in France for a year and so does he. There's an art school that I want to attend and I want to study french and french history. I love it there.
So Dave, keep your chin up and don't be hesitant to dream and reach further!!!!
Merry
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Permalink Reply by AndiB on
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Dear Dave,I am Stage IV and lately have just seemed to have more fatigue and take longer to bounce back from complications or infecctions.However when iSee your volunteerissm and read your post I felt,i should encourage you.I slowly bounce back eventually.Did spend 2 nights,3days in pigeon Forge and Oak ridge with my sis,and even saw Dollywood,and Dixie Stampede. Took 2 days after to rest up,but had a good time and husband went too.Plan small things,and shorter trips.I hope to build up.Hope you and wife can have some fun,AndiB
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Permalink Reply by AndiB on
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John,you inspire me so.I hope to be touring US,feeling better,adding to bucket list and marking things done too.Really hope to help on a dinosaur dig!AndiB
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Permalink Reply by John H MOD on
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Hi Andi, me, inspire you? Let me tell you that you have always been the one who goes out of her way to respond to so many people and make them all feel very special. I am one of a long line of people who are honored to call you a friend! I want to join you on that dinosaur dig! I think since the Flintstones I wanted to see real dinosaur bones. Let me know when and it's a date.
God bless, John
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Permalink Reply by Melissa on -
I was first diagnosed with nsclc four years ago in July (on my birthday of all things). I had surgery to have most of my right lung removed and was told I was cancer free. Less than a year later I was told that the cancer had re-appeared and I was Stage IV. Since then the cancer has metastasized to the lymph glands under my arm and spread to my other lung. I have been through four rounds of various chemo with no great effect save getting sicker every round. I decided to stop curative treatment just before the end of my last round of chemo in early May 2011 because I didn't want to live like that and my husband of 33 years was ill. He has since passed away.
I am currently in Hospice care on some meds that help me breathe better and lessen my anxiety. I am living a fairly normal life of a new widow I wish that I could look ahead five years. I am trying to enjoy each day with grace and gratitude. I am slowly trying to put my affairs in order to ease the burden on my family in the future. The most difficult chore I have is to find a new home for my young dachshund/Jack Russell mix. Upon losing my husband I was close to suicidal, but my dog depends on me. It is hard to find a new home for a dog when I don't know just when the home will be needed. I think I have found the right people to give her a loving, happy and safe life. She has kept me sane by being wonderful company and gets me out of the house for short walks and sessions with a trainer. When I think five years down the line it is hoping that she has a new family that loves and enjoys her as much as I do.
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Permalink Reply by John H MOD on
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Hi Melissa, first I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband. I hope you know he is now watching and still caring for you. I am amazed at your concern for your little one and am so glad that you have found Hom a home with a loving family. I am a dog person and have the feelings you have expressed for Hom. They give you unconditional
Love. With no expectations except a pat. I hope your journey continues with the peace and love you have shown towards your husband and your pet. Keep up your special ways I am sure everyone who knows you would say they feel special just being around you. I know I feel it here just from reading your post. Stay well and come back often we need to hear more from you!
My prayers are with you, take care, John
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